Woohoo, I'm finally retired! - Who am I and what do I do?

When I first retired, I frequently asked my still-working friends when they would retire. They usually said they didn’t know what they would do with their time. Golf, tennis, and other hobbies only take up so much of the day. What do you do with yourself all day long? And, perhaps more importantly, who are you once you’re no longer working?

 In the US, we have a cultural tendency to define ourselves by our job titles. Whether you worked at an office job, on an assembly line, as a retail or hospitality associate, or as a stay-at-home parent or home-keeper. Once you’re retired, what do you do all day and how do you describe yourself?  

When we’re working, a job title is helpful because it provides a starting point for conversation, for finding commonality, and for establishing bonds that might lead to friendship. It provides a label that conveys lots of information about lifestyle, education, activity. Once retired, you may begin to wonder how to concisely describe yourself in a way that allows you to connect with others.

So, what do you say now that you’re retired? An important point is that we – our selves -- are not actually the work we do or the job title we hold. You’ve probably taken a personality test or two over the years that identify your personality traits, but there’s a whole lot more that makes us who we are. Our selves are complex bundles of personality traits, preferences, skills, knowledge, and experience.

Another way to gain insight into identity is to think about your preferences for reading, activities, conversation, movies. Have you ever listened to someone describe what they’ve been doing and think that it sounds burdensome, boring, stressful, or unpleasant? Those things are obviously not appealing to you. Identifying activities that resonate with you can take time.

When you’re thinking about what you like to do or the experiences that you gravitate towards, do you see any patterns? Some people might really enjoy learning and exploring. They can be called ‘learners’ or ‘explorers.’ Some people enjoy taking care of others (caregivers). There are actually personality patterns, or archetypes, that psychologists have identified that can provide a short-cut to helping us identify preferences and enjoyable or fulfilling activities in retirement.

If you don’t know your personality type(s) already, begin by listing preferences or behaviors that are typical of you. Carl Jung, a Swiss psychologist, identified personality archetypes that he believed influence the things that people prefer and explain their behavior. Do any of the below 12 archetypes resonate with you when you think about yourself?

1. The hero: strong, courageous, thoughtful, fights for the good, savior
2. The lover: passionate, seductive, conveys security, makes others feel understood
3. The innocent: spontaneous, optimistic, reliable, moral, wants to make the world happy
4. The magician: visionary, creative, idealistic, makes dreams come true
5. The rebel: breaks rules, defies the mainstream, shocks
6. The fool: humorous, entertaining, likable, sympathy for others, seeks pleasure and joy
7. The ruler: dominant, controlled, responsible, strives for a harmonious environment
8. The caregiver/supervisor: caring, selfless, helpful, compassionate, protects others
9. The explorer:/discoverer: enjoys traveling and trying new things, adventurous, independent, individualistic
10. The Jedermann (Every man): down-to-earth, traditional, simple, modest, unobtrusive
11. The creator: creative, inventive, proactive, wants to create something
12. The sage: thoughtful, analytical, trustworthy, intelligent, find the truth and answer the world’s big questions

You might wonder how knowing these archetypes is useful. Well, for one thing, it may help you decide what types of activities you’d like to do once you have time on your hands. For example, if you’re a “hero,” you might enjoy helping other people or improving your community. A “magician” may feel compelled to create something, like a blog or model train set or a backyard garden. The explorer will want to travel and see the world, whether it’s just outside her own backyard or around the globe.

Identifying your archetype may explain why some types of activities resonate with you and others don’t. You can screen activities (or people) and choose ones that will make you happy. It could help you avoid the trap of creating a life in retirement that is busy, but not actually satisfying. Knowing your archetype can also help you understand yourself better and avoid falling into the judgment trap of believing that you “should” do one thing or another because that’s what “good” or “interesting” people do in retirement.

Below is a list of hobbies that might resonate with different archetypes. You may have found that several archetypes sounded like you, so consider all the activities for each of them. In addition, many activities are enjoyed by multiple archetypes.

Once you identify activities that you find enjoyable, think about the ‘context’ in which you’d like to do the activity. For example, suppose you decide to bake as a hobby. Do you want to bake for a food kitchen? As an entrepreneurial venture? For the local school cafeteria? Or for neighborhood shut-ins? An important point is that you don’t have to practice your activity for any altruistic or productive reason. You could just bake to improve your own skill and feed your family or friends.

Now, back to the issue of how this answers the question, “what do you do?”…a hobby can convey the same broad information about you that a job title used to do. It may allow other people to find common ground with you over mutual interests. Moreover, it can fill the cultural need we have to demonstrate that we’re productive and actively engaged in the world. In addition, you will benefit from spending time in retirement doing things that are truly enjoyable and that you find fulfilling.